I thought my kids knew they could come to me with anything — that they understood I was their safe place.
I didn’t realize that even when I was physically present…
my emotional availability mattered more.
One day my son told me about something he’d been struggling with, for weeks!
When I asked why he didn’t come to me sooner, he said:
“I didn’t want to bother you, Mom. I see how busy you are. You’re already dealing with a lot.”
OUCH!
Even though I was doing everything for my kids, holding it all together, managing the chaos, keeping everyone afloat, somewhere along the way, my presence had stopped feeling safe enough to come to.
Being a safe parent isn’t about perfectly doing all the things.
It’s about being present in a way that feels emotionally safe and approachable.
It’s about building a history of trustworthy responses when they share with you.
Healing begins with connection.
What my son needed wasn’t more doing —
it was presence.
Our kids don’t need perfect parents.
They need parents they feel safe with,
who can stay grounded when things get hard,
who listen more than they lecture,
who make room for truth instead of fear.
That’s what we’re building together in Come to Me First.
COME TO ME FIRST
A 4-Day Challenge to Build the Trust Your Children Will Rely On for Life.
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We start November 17
Cost $27 - a small investment in lifelong connection.
I really hope I'll see you inside
Because you can’t be there for everything —
but you can make sure they know they can always come to you.
Love, Carrien